January 23, 2002

• SARAH

  
  

  (Don't feel obliged to reply to this, or even read it.  I'm just writing because I need to right now.)

  
  

  Jimmy (my teenage son) has had a friend for a little over a year named Sarah.  We'd run into Sarah here and there, and gave her a ride home once.  Home was at grandma's, and grandma didn't drive.  I wondered how she ever got anywhere, but didn't think much of it.

  
  

  Jimmy is still friends with Sarah.  They're in the same high school now, and re-connected.  Sarah's 16, and has pink and blue hair, and she's cute as a bug.  And she's pregnant (no, Jimmy's not the father).  And both her parents are in jail.  And grandma's in a hursing home.  But she and her 18-year-old brother are staying at Grandma's empty house, on a mattress on the floor, for the time being.  At least until CPS catches up with her.

  
  

  But Sarah's not dumb.  I think she's very brave:  she could have had an abortion, like many girls do at her age.  She could have quit school.  She has no support from the father, so she's going it alone.  She's got her ducks in a row, though, make no mistake.  In fact, I think she's more together than I was as a young, single pregnant woman.  And hell, I was 22, not 16.

  
  

  Today we had this conversation:
  Me:  "Sarah, can I ask you the question you've probably been asked 50 times this week?"
  Her:  "Sure!  Shoot."
  Me:  "What the heck are you going to do with a baby?"
  Her:  "Oh, no one's asked me that this week.  Those 50 times were LAST week." 

  
  

  Earlier today, I had hoped to talk to her about adoption options.  But she's already considered and rejected that idea.  She explained her plan to me, and it's not a bad one, considering her circumstances.  She has a case worker, she's getting clothes and toys from Any Baby Can, she's on Medicaid for healthcare for her and the baby, she knows about WIC (Women/Infants/Children) for food, and her high school has a daycare.  She'll finish school, and move into the working world from there.  She even has plans for affordable housing lined up for after high school.

  
  

  Did I mention she's brave?  Nowhere in there is a plan of "I'm going to find a man that will pay my way."  Nope, she'll work it out.

  
  

  She's also very intelligent.  You know what I mean:  that spark, that quick wit, that sparkle in the eye someone has when they're very, very bright.  Of course, getting into this situation wasn't too bright, but that's water under the bridge now, isn't it?  If you or I were 16 and our parents were in the slammer, we might look for love and comfort where we could find it, too.  From here, though, all she can do is look forward, and that's what she's doing.

  
  

  Christians (I'm one) often talk about being pro-life.  If we're going to be pro-life, then dammit, we need to love and support brave women like Sarah.  She's being spurned from every angle, but I feel a heavy, heavy need to show her kindness and love.  And belive me, she seems to appreciate the heck out of it.

  
  

  We took her to do pottery with us tonight at the paint-it-yourself pottery place.  I told her to pick any piece she wanted to paint, and I'd pay for it, get it fired, etc.  She picked a lovely ornate heart-shaped dish with roses and vines on it... and turned it over.  It said $15, and I told her that was fine.  She said "For $15, I could have lunch for a whole week." 

  
  

  For two weeks (before I knew of Sarah's situation), I've been writing down the phone number for a home for pregnant teenagers every time I hear their call for volunteers on the radio, but I hadn't ever called.  Then I ran into Sarah.  Maybe there's a reason, ya think?

  • 12:28 am
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